Urgent Care Revelations

So, last Friday I had to take my sick kiddo to Urgent Care. I HATE Urgent Care- but I won’t rant about that today. I tend to pride myself on being a nice person- but I had a real truth bomb hit me that day sitting in the waiting room. (for 4 freaking hours, but we won’t get into that.)

I marched into that clinic in my typical (though I didn’t realize it until that day) snotty fashion. (Opening the door with a Wet Ones wipe) then proceeding to sanitize my hands and Gage’s hands after signing in- finding the least populated and cleanest looking area to sit… not letting Gage or myself touch A N Y T H I N G other than our rears to the seat. (quite a tough task for a two year old) The place looks dirty… and it’s full of sick people. It’s gross and I hate being there. While I was submersed in my discontent for having to be there, of course I was people watching. One of my favorite activities.

There was a couple sitting a few seats away from me that particularly caught my interest. They had sat nearest the outlet so they could charge their cell phones. They were both submersed in facebook videos (and playing them much too loudly for a public waiting room) They were shabbily dressed and just over all didn’t look well kept. I couldn’t help but listen to their conversation when it turned to having children.

“I wouldn’t mind trying again and having a boy this time.” the woman said and the man agreed… after they were talking about living with one of them’s parents.

OH LAWD, no, no you do not need more kids! Where is your child now? Probably in state custody by the looks and sounds of you two. 

I couldn’t help it. My internal dialogue went nuts… and not in a good way.

Pretty soon a cute little girl comes out of the little playroom where there was a T.V., probably 10 or 11 years old, and hugged both of them. They were asking how she was feeling, and promising they would be seeing the doctor soon. She asked the dad to braid her hair and he gave it a shot- the mom then had to step in and try to show him (for the millionth time, by the sounds of it) They were working on times tables with the little girl and there was genuine love and concern there.

They were happy.

The child was happy.

…and clean and well taken care of.  She wasn’t dressed in the trendiest or nicest clothing, but it was appropriate for the weather, her size, etc…and she was comfortable.

She was loved, she was wanted, and she loved and wanted those two people as well.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about those people all weekend. As I said earlier, I tend to take pride in the fact that I am a genuinely nice and caring person. Apparently I’m not as nice as I like to think I am. As the old adage goes “don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” I’ve started paying closer attention to what I allow myself to think, and I’m not nearly as kind as I once thought.

I’m working on that. I’m praying for eyes of Jesus and not eyes of my own, torn and sinful nature. I’m praying for more compassion.

I encourage you to take a look at yourself. to slow down and listen and actually pay attention to your thoughts sometime. You may find you need to do the same.

 

 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 

Colossians 3:12

 

 

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Good Friday Ponderings

This morning I grumbled as I got up to come to work- on a holiday. I cussed the county offices for being open on a holy day. I’ve grumbled since I’ve been here about various things that just hacked me off. grumbled about parents who just can’t seem to get it together and about the lady at the bank who didn’t even double check the rather large fundraiser deposit I took today. Grumpy because my husband went on down to my grandparents’ this afternoon and I’ll have to drive there all by myself at 5. It just hit me that today- of all days I am grumpy about everything- I’ve complained at almost every single turn. But if 2000 years ago this day didn’t happen- I might not even be here. The course of the world would have been so much different than it is now. 2000 years ago- My Jesus was beat and tortured and hung on a cross so that I could have eternal life.

It took nearly all day for it to hit me- I’ve been so caught up in my own selfish feelings that I have forgot what today even is. Furthermore, I have let my contempt get in the way of showing basic kindness to those I come across. I’ve been terrible today.

The beauty of all of this, though, is that because of what Jesus Christ went through on this day- I am forgiven. No matter how terrible I have been- how much I have complained, how hateful I have been to those I’ve been in contact with- I am forgiven. Jesus carried every sin I have ever committed and  every sin I ever will commit to the cross with him. He suffered unimaginable anguish- not because he couldn’t escape it- but because he loved me and you so much that he wanted us to someday be with him in Heaven. Wow. That is love.

“My God, My Savior has ransomed me, and like a flood his mercy rains- Unending love, Amazing Grace” 

I can’t change my behavior earlier in the day- but I can for the rest.

Have a safe and Happy Easter, all.

Jesus loves you.

Amber

Small Talk- Weather in the ‘Handle

I had a lot of things that came to mind to write about today, but I decided to stick to my original plan and talk about the weather. I was just a little too stirred up to be able to write my feelings on the other subjects that came up today in a tactful way. You’ll hear about those soon enough though, don’t you worry!

I thought in order for me to really be able to share my life, you would have to understand weather patterns (or lack there of) in the Panhandle. So, if you’ve made it far enough to read this part, thank you! I will do my best to make it worth your time!

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The picture above is from a little over a month ago. We were headed towards a drought so bad we weren’t sure if we were going to even have wheat to cut or enough grass to graze our cattle. On March 3 the winds came a howling- with approximately 40 mph sustained winds and well over 50 mph gusts that day. we watched as dust turned the sky brown. and listened intently as wildfires ravaged a 4-state area burning just over 1 million acres in total. I could write a whole blog on just these fires, but I will leave that for another day. Now back to the sky being brown with dirt. That happens often here, in fact, a day that the winds are less than 25 mph is generally considered  fairly “calm.”

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You see, people in my little region are praying people. Even if we don’t attend a church service every Sunday or even really know if we believe- everyone seems to pray. After those fires, everyone prayed- not only for comfort and healing for the families, but for rain. We pray for rain out here almost every mealtime and bedtime prayer anyways, but after those fires- we prayed hard, even those who don’t pray often- and, I truly believe God heard. In the past 2 weeks we have received nice, soaking, slow rains a couple times a week. So far my house has received just over 4 inches of much needed rain. Our Wheat is finally popping up from the dirt, our pastures are finally starting to get a little hint of green to them. The spirits of everyone, not just the farm and ranch families are much more jolly- but we all know and understand, that we are just one windy day, one month of little to no moisture from being back in the same boat we were a few weeks ago. It’s our life- and strangely enough, I’ve grown to love it.

 

Now to the fun part. While a month ago we were fighting a losing battle against the elements, 90 degree weather, 40 mph wind, blowing dirt, and terrible fires- and now we’ve been blessed with rain and snow… yes, you read that right. Snow. I know it’s not uncommon for it to snow in April, but where you live is it ever 84 degrees on Monday, snow an inch and a half on Tuesday, be warm enough in the night that all the snow melts before 7:00 am Wednesday morning and be back to almost 70 degrees by Thursday? Well here things like that happen almost all the time.  Living in the Oklahoma Panhandle is kind of similar to living with a pregnant lady (or at least me as a pregnant lady). One second she’s happy and farting rainbows and when she sings the little forest animals gather around and all is perfect- the next second she’s literally the Devil’s wife out to destroy you, your dog, and steal the leftovers you were saving for yourself (If you don’t think that is the work of Satan, I don’t know if you should be on this blog), then the next second she’s crying happy, beautiful gentle tears. Living in the Panhandle is an adventure- because each day you have no idea what you’re going to wake up to (and don’t even rely on the meteorologists- they’re as bad at guessing the weather as the rest of us, they just get to do it on regional TV.) Pictured below are photos of our Tuesday snow and screenshot of today’s temperature.

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