Urgent Care Revelations

So, last Friday I had to take my sick kiddo to Urgent Care. I HATE Urgent Care- but I won’t rant about that today. I tend to pride myself on being a nice person- but I had a real truth bomb hit me that day sitting in the waiting room. (for 4 freaking hours, but we won’t get into that.)

I marched into that clinic in my typical (though I didn’t realize it until that day) snotty fashion. (Opening the door with a Wet Ones wipe) then proceeding to sanitize my hands and Gage’s hands after signing in- finding the least populated and cleanest looking area to sit… not letting Gage or myself touch A N Y T H I N G other than our rears to the seat. (quite a tough task for a two year old) The place looks dirty… and it’s full of sick people. It’s gross and I hate being there. While I was submersed in my discontent for having to be there, of course I was people watching. One of my favorite activities.

There was a couple sitting a few seats away from me that particularly caught my interest. They had sat nearest the outlet so they could charge their cell phones. They were both submersed in facebook videos (and playing them much too loudly for a public waiting room) They were shabbily dressed and just over all didn’t look well kept. I couldn’t help but listen to their conversation when it turned to having children.

“I wouldn’t mind trying again and having a boy this time.” the woman said and the man agreed… after they were talking about living with one of them’s parents.

OH LAWD, no, no you do not need more kids! Where is your child now? Probably in state custody by the looks and sounds of you two. 

I couldn’t help it. My internal dialogue went nuts… and not in a good way.

Pretty soon a cute little girl comes out of the little playroom where there was a T.V., probably 10 or 11 years old, and hugged both of them. They were asking how she was feeling, and promising they would be seeing the doctor soon. She asked the dad to braid her hair and he gave it a shot- the mom then had to step in and try to show him (for the millionth time, by the sounds of it) They were working on times tables with the little girl and there was genuine love and concern there.

They were happy.

The child was happy.

…and clean and well taken care of.  She wasn’t dressed in the trendiest or nicest clothing, but it was appropriate for the weather, her size, etc…and she was comfortable.

She was loved, she was wanted, and she loved and wanted those two people as well.

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about those people all weekend. As I said earlier, I tend to take pride in the fact that I am a genuinely nice and caring person. Apparently I’m not as nice as I like to think I am. As the old adage goes “don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” I’ve started paying closer attention to what I allow myself to think, and I’m not nearly as kind as I once thought.

I’m working on that. I’m praying for eyes of Jesus and not eyes of my own, torn and sinful nature. I’m praying for more compassion.

I encourage you to take a look at yourself. to slow down and listen and actually pay attention to your thoughts sometime. You may find you need to do the same.

 

 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 

Colossians 3:12

 

 

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Mamas, It’s Time to Get it Together

Since the moment I found out I was pregnant I have realized how fierce and downright hateful mothers can be to each other based solely the differences in decisions and lifestyles chosen. By differences, I don’t mean neglectful- I mean the decisions each mother is faced with from the point of conception. To have an all natural birth or to be medicated, between vaccinating or not, breastfeeding or formula feeding, to be a working mom or a stay at home mom, – the decisions that each of us has a fundamental and almost moral feeling either for or against, the decisions that divide us.

Personally, I was induced and had an epidural, my little Gage has been in daycare since he was 2 months old, has been (and will continue to be) vaccinated on the CDC’s recommended schedule, and was formula fed. I personally know people who have done everything from the get go exactly the opposite of me- natural births, no vaccines, breastfed, and have never spent a minute in a full time child care facility. I know others who are somewhere in between those two extremes. Our children are all beautiful, wonderfully smart little beings who are developing right on schedule.

The point is, While I may adamantly disagree with people who do not vaccinate their babies, others will adamantly disagree with my choice to formula feed or send my child to daycare from the get go- and we each will defend our decisions with passion. We each made every decision (I assume) based on hours upon hours of on our own research- be it by parenting books, Pinterest or internet searches, etc. –  advice from families and friends, questions to our doctors or midwives, financial reasons, or based off of personal experiences. We toiled for months on how we were going to make every aspect of our baby’s life the healthiest and safest we possibly could. And when it comes right down to it, each of us made the decisions we felt in our heart was the absolute best for our child as well as our family.

By all means, advocate for what you believe to be true and right, share the information you have and the experiences you’ve had. Just do so with the understanding that we’re all doing our best- we’re all in this together. As long as your child is well fed, appropriately clothed, and most importantly well loved- everything else can be worried about later. We are raising our future together. Lift each other up, love each other, encourage each other, support each other even when you disagree.